How to Die

If and when you decide to suspend, cancel, delete, or deactivate your Facebook account, what you may not realize is that you are deciding to die.

I'm not sure what's funnier about this deactivation confirmation page, the fact that they selected a completely facetious picture for my sister-in-law Ebony or their clandestine use of the mother's guilt trip about all the people that will miss my deceased avatar. Think about the children! They also conveniently provide a quick link for a last minute message to your randomly selected loved ones while on your death bed. All the more reason for you to wait around a day or two for them to reply, think about it, stay awhile, go to sleep, dream of likes and comments. 

Unfortunately, they only let you select one reason why you're choosing to die. But what's interesting is they know all the reasons people leave, and when you select a reason a little pop up screen appears with a sales pitch on how you can alleviate your concern. This reminds me of telemarketers, where they keep a list of all the reasons you can say no to their product and have a counter response waiting. Don't need this product? Need is subjective. Think it's an invasion of privacy? Well people in North Korea don't have any privacy and they don't complain.